


2012 Tumblr Called And They Want Their Joke Back

by Anonymous



Category: Drag-On Dragoon | Drakengard
Genre: M/M, Watersports
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-25
Updated: 2018-10-25
Packaged: 2019-08-07 08:24:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16404809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: “Piss on me. Fucking piss on me,” Inuart says, eyes suddenly full of passion that he yanked out of who-knows-where. He grabs Caim by the shoulders, staring him straight in the eye. Caim is afraid. A little turned on. Mostly afraid. Inuart leans in and whispers in his ear.“Do it in the antarctic so the pee freezes in mid air while you are pissing off a building.”





	2012 Tumblr Called And They Want Their Joke Back

Caim is used to making out with Inuart. Sort of. Inuart kisses like Caim expects a dog might – tongue and slobber and gross. He sucks dick in the same fashion – tongue and slobber and gross. At least it gets it done?

Inuart pops off his dick with a wet _smack_ noise. “Caim.”

Caim responds in the most disinterested voice possible: “Hm?”

“Piss on me.”

Caim’s brain kind of short circuits. He can hear a dial-up tone, even though Caerleon won’t have internet access before its inevitable destruction. Ears buzzing, he responds; “Um…?”

“Fucking piss on me,” Inuart says, eyes suddenly full of passion that he yanked out of who-knows-where. He grabs Caim by the shoulders, staring him straight in the eye. Caim is afraid. A little turned on. Mostly afraid. Inuart leans in and whispers in his ear.

“Do it in the antarctic so the pee freezes in mid air while you are pissing off a building.”

 

 

 

They were supposed to be finding a dragon in these mountains. _Supposed_ to. Instead, their men are falling behind in the harsh blizzard, Caim has to pee, and Inuart is looking at him like his dick contains all the secrets of the universe. Maybe it does. Maybe the secret they’re searching for on this mountain is Caim’s piss. Yellow snow. He really is losing his mind up here, Caim thinks. Damn cold.

Inuart is standing on the cliff below him, because this is his fantasy. This is what he’s here for. This is what he’s always dreamed of.

“ _The piss turns into spear’s,”_ Inuart calls up at him. “ _Impale me with frozen urine and then shit on my butt corpse!”_

All right. Whatever. Caim likes corpses.

Caim pisses over the side of the ledge and hits Inuart square in the face. He looks like he just saw god and heaven. It doesn’t turn into piss spears, because that would be silly. Inuart, looking crestfallen at the failure of his brilliant idea, yells back up at Caim.

While he’s still going.

“ _I’m a fat gay and I want to go to ice hell FTW!”_

_God Inuart,_ Caim thinks. _You are so fucking stupid._

He doesn’t rip off his clothes. His dick is already turning purple in the wind.

Inuart still _doesn’t close his damn mouth._

Caim finishes and tucks his dick away. Secrets of the universe his ass. He’ll be lucky if it’s still attached to his body.

Inuart is still screaming.


End file.
